Mick 'The Gaffer' O'Donoghue - Team Coach

Mick was originally the assistant coach when the team started out "way back" in '97 but for the Blitz 2000 he was given a promotion to head coach & has remained as Gaffer since.
Mick rises to the occasion very well but has Snuffy and Tom Kenny to help him. We wouldn't have won anything without him and he does his best to give everyone a game.

Although he is in Australia for Christmas 2003, and misses out on the messy goings-on, the Trainspotters will be in mourning due to his absence. Even if he can't be there, he is truly a Trainspotter through and through!

Head Coach

 

Frank 'Ass Coach' O'Rahilly

(That's "Assistant Coach" for anyone who's worried!)

Frank was instated as Ass Coach after the 2002 blitz - where he put in such a magnificent performance off the court that we felt he could no longer remain as just a mere groupie.

A score of 18 under in Pub Golf along with the fact that he's not all that bad a basketball player (deemed too good for TeamTS actually!) was finally acknowledged sometime around New Year's day when an executive meeting of the Board decided to appoint him with immediate effect. In other words the Chairman, Secretary and Gaffer met Frankie for a few beverages and the Ass Coach was born!

In light of recent events it seems that Frank O'Rahilly was brought into the team at just the right time. With the eminent departure of "The Gaffer", will Ass Coach be the man to fill his shoes - big shoes to fill - 3 titles in 6 years isn't to be sneezed at!
.

Assistance Coach

 

Peter 'The Bolt' Burke

Peter is one of the original Spotters and was excellent in the first few years as his height and fielding skills were at their peak. And he was confident when interviewed in 2000 that his abilities had not "dwindled" into the past.
This was certainly the case as respect of his height and rebounding skills - but the poor boy's fitness levels are a mere shadow of what they once were, as can be seen from the game footage.

However his drinking abilities peaked at the tender age of 20 as he horsed back JD's and Coke over the Christmas period putting many of his team-mates to shame.

A lot has changed for Peter since that fateful year of 2000 - his drinking capabilities have soared! He's pulled a few crackers - and I don't mean the Christmas kind! High roller on the London financial scene, never far from a magnum of champagne, a Cuban cigar and of course, a beautiful lady!
Did himself no favours for next years selection by getting involved with "the Gaffers" cousin! Disaster

Captain in 1997

 

Trevor 'Your Host' O'Donoghue - Manager

The creator of The Trainspotters. You could even go as far as to say it was his brainchild!!! He captained the team to their first trophy way back in 1998 when they were in Division 3 men.

Had the team jerseys manufactured by orphan children in one of his many sweatshops around the world... "just look at that stitching, if only I had more workers like Jub-Jub" he would often say!

However it would seem this euphoria over Jub-Jub's stitching wouldn't last long as the newest Trainspotter kits have got the wrong website address on them and our sponsors name was spelled incorrectly! The fact that the shorts are made to fit the slightly "larger" gent could possibly have been his fault!

Jub-Jub is still missing :- any information would be appreciated.

Captain in 1998

 

Ivan 'Superstar' Stuart

Ivan "Ghetto Superstar" Stuart was brought into the team way back in '98 to bring an outside threat to the team and this was a major factor in us winning our first title that year.

There was questions asked as to whether or not he would be able to keep up to the drinking side of the team but he kept up that end of the bargain. Ivan is a big fan of his hair and the only reason he didn't get MVP in 2000 was because he was suffering from the trauma of a haircut the previous day.


Ivan has since resigned to making faces like a chipmunk or like a pissed off drag queen every time he gets photographed for the site!

Captain in 1999

T.O.T.Y. 2003

Kevin 'Team Jock' Lynch

The official JOCK of the team as he has played football for the Kerry Minors, U-21's and Seniors, has also captained the Trainspotters and has a massive collection of medals at home for Irish dancing!

- that's right IRISH FUCKING DANCING - so the next time you see Travolta here lurking at the side of the dance floor say "hey twinkle toe's… get out there and sparkle for me baby!"

Kevin was really focused in 2000 and when interviewed he thought we would win it out (which we did!). He also mentioned Snuffy's mother when asked about his manhood!!?!

Kevin did very well during the 2000 blitz in the drinking respect as it was possibly the first year where he drank as much as everyone else and wasn't completely rat-arsed! DAMN IT!

However, the boys drinking ability has increased dramatically and at pub golf he did more than hold his own with the big boys - or so it would seem - because apparently (and he denies this to this day) he threw up unknown to anyone in the snug which was also not a designated pissing pub - FOR SHAME KEVIN

Captain in 2000

MVP Div 3 1998

 

Ruairdhi 'Philosopher' Daly

Ruairdhi truly starred in 1998 when we won out the competition and he gave us some much needed height inside. One of the original spotters, a world of information is stored inside of this mans cranium - if only he knew how to get it out!

Rauirdhi was awarded for his "efforts" (picture me putting up my two hands - extending index finger and middle finger on each hand and bending fingers simultaneously - then repeating it a few times!) in previous years when he was made captain of the trainspotters in 2001, and using his woeful leadership skills and dangly flailing limbs - he lead us to our first ever consecutive blitz titles. Unfortunately we haven't won one since!

Ruairdhi is said to be the philosopher of the team, but to be brutally honest, anyone who drinks that much fucking whiskey, is bound to be on a different playing field when it comes to talking absolute shite! (Its ain't even the same ballpark, its not the same league… shit it ain't even the same fuckin' sport!).

Captain in 2001

Cormac 'Begbie' Lyons

Formerly known as Mossie, this young chap was christened Begbie during Christmas '02 after a classic glass-throwing incident in the hotel (talk to The BullShit for the full story!).

It's been a tough few years for Mossie …I mean Begbie ... because everyone keeps saying that he is living in the shadow of his brother. Trevor also knows how tough this can be and sympathises with him.

Cormac is another die-hard spotter and needs constant work with a chiropractor from constantly carrying the team on his back.

Tabloid rumours of a relationship with Michael Horan sparked fury in the Trainspotter camp especially when it was rumoured that Ivan Stuart watched the two boy's in action. An investigation from team officials revealed that the story was fabricated. Cormac has most recently been under media scrutiny after a college website exposed him for the lap-dancing addict he is!

Captain in 2002

Daniel 'Snuffy' Shanahan

Daniel Shanahan was nicknamed 'The Tan' for a while during Christmas 2000 after comments he made in an interview as towards his living in England at the time. He is more commonly known as Snuffy and this is because (nothing to do with his healthy drug habit!) he used to sniffle constantly as a child.

He played for Ireland in underage basketball and therefore we thought he would bring us a huge advantage upon joining in 2000 but it seems he's not quite as hot as he once was.

One of the most promising players to come out of Castleisland was ravaged by drink and sex at the tender age of 20. SHAME ON YOU DAN!!!

These days he's more likely to be seen wobbling around the hotel, adoring girl hanging off his arm, and his pilot hanging out! Yes, there isn't a person in Castleisland hasn't seen Snuffy's cock, or at least his underpants at some stage

Captain in 2003

MVP Senior Men 2001
MVP Senior Men 2003

Padraig 'The Shadow' Shanahan

This young man has been part of the furniture here at the Trainspotters since he joined the team in '99 and ironically we won fuck all when he came first! But we haven't stopped winning since. "I don't think we could stop if I tried" - jokes Padraig!! (2002 proved differently boyo!)

A lot of people said he was just brought in the back of who his brother was, but that's not true, Snuffy was just in a generous mood that year, buying cars for two of the senior committee members!
I clearly remember introducing Padraig to the team saying - "he's one of the good looking guys now!" and someone shouting - "but he's got a face like a smacked arse!". Ha Ha.... Good times

Proud owner of the number 69 jersey of the spotters, he's been through a lot in the last number of years. No longer known as Becks, he now responds to Shadow, and only to Shadow, if you were to call him Padraig, he'd probably just get sour! And we've all seen that puss!

James 'Team Lunatic' Curran

James made a welcome return to the spotters in 2001 after spending some time in the sates in recent years. (Everything was totally legal, in case you are from emigration)

But unfortunately in 2002 he decided to turn his back on the spotters and opt-out of all our on the court activities. This act of betrayal is something our Host is still finding great difficult to deal with - so much so that an International Hate Campaign was initiated!

However, he has since seen the error of his ways and learned that the Trainspotters are like a sort of family - the kind that throw you over a bridge if you try to leave (this is not a reference to the Mickey Mouse Mafia if you're wondering!)

A good basketball player with a brilliant three point shot, this man is a legend as far as Trainspotter history goes and there will never be a man on the team like James Curran.

A legend in his own living room, for both women and drinking.

Declan 'Silver Tongue' Cronin

Declan was brought into the team in '98. A big lad! We thought he'd bring some violence into the team as, at the time, he was being trained to bash the fuck out of his patients (such was the style at the time... not anymore, those bastards in the big house with their "PC", DAMN YOU BERTIE!!!).

However, the most violence Declan ever displayed over Christmas was on the dance floor! To see a brief sample of this Michael Jackson-esque dance maestro go to the results page!

Has spent some time in South America training *farque* gorillas. Looks slightly psychotic himself as I look at the picture beside this text!

Suffers from absolute "Galloping Knob-Rot" from time to time and has no bones about letting ye all know it!

Michael 'Chimp' Horan

A man of many guises, Mike can often be found “lurking” around the side streets of Castleisland and Dublin preying on young ladies. He was involved in plenty of action over Christmas 2000 - most of it, however, was not on the court. He even got involved in some off-court activities with one of our referees! (name withheld for legal reasons!)

It is at this time imperative, for those of you who are not familiar with Mike, to tell you of his many nicknames! Yes there are hundreds - let us talk you through the most popular:

Michael “Chimp”, “Shrimp”, “Gimp”, “El Chimp”, “Paddy”, “El Shrimp”, “Ketchup”, “Thomas” Horan.

[see the Fun & Frolics page for our Chimp-Graphical guide to Michael]

'B' Captain in 2001

Donal 'Shy Guy' O'Connor

- Official hotornot.com "Best Looking Trainspotter" -

Donal has been on the team since it was initiated and has always stayed loyal to the cause. Even if he was seriously inebriated the night before he has always togged out, although sometimes he looks like his head could explode from a hangover any second.

One of the Dublin Trio on the team, he was often flown half way around the world to be with the team for the annual Christmas blitz.

The man has a way with the ladies that not many other chaps can come close to, for a brief and quite frankly disturbing look into the rapist with that is that of Mr. O Connor lets look at the line that was wowing the Island last Christmas:
"yerra yea we were all there, I was there, you were there and the bear in the big blue house was there, Shut your mouth, comb your hair, go on a diet and fuck off home, you fat bitch"

However, Le piece de resistance, has to be the night when "Sly Guy" Donal walked up a girl that Liam had been with and said - "That's absolutely shocking… that fellas got a girlfriend up in Dublin!", the girl inconsolable was later seen leaving the hotel with Donal. Classic

'B' Captain in 2002
"The Wasters"

Liam 'The BullShit' O'Connor

Can quote entire episodes of the Simpsons and although he's aiming for someday taking the family title of 'The Legend', he's only managed 'The BullShit' for the moment!

Joined the spotters during the high times of the Celtic Tiger with a veritable melee of other big money transfers as far as memory serves me! Even though, he was never far from a piss-up with the spotters I can't remember why he wasn't on the Trainspotters from the first year! He probably should have been.

This man used to be described as a typical Trainspotter. A degree in his arse pocket, what was he doing after college… working close with all the big stars - Liz Hurley, Kevin Spacey, Brad Pitt, Penelope Cruz,
What did he do I hear you cry - he only fucking worked in Blockbuster Video!

Now I recall Liam being easily the most intelligent person in our school and if he ended up in Blockbuster what chance would the rest of us have?
.... Every chance it would seem, cause he is now blazing a path for every spotter to follow as he finally picked up a "proper" job.

'B' Captain in 2003
"The Liabilities"

Eoin 'The Web Master' O'Sullivan

The man responsible for all this! Joined the trainspotters after giving us a fright playing with the Desmonds in the semi-final in 2000. With only 4 players on the team they went up 9-0 against us. So we decided to sign the young talent for the year after. Yet another shrewd investment by the Spotters, 3 years later and I don't think we would have lasted as long without him!

Eoin put pen to paper with the Trainspotters the following year (smashing the transfer record at the time - 2 bottles of Holsten Pils and a half eaten packet of bacon fries) and it made his Christmas (if not his year) to see his name in the blitz program and to be lining out alongside such Trainspotter legends as the Chimp and Biggane (the year Biggy won player of the year).

However, his little heart was cruely broken in 2002, & then unbelievably, torn to pieces in 2003...when, yes, you've guessed it... - His name was omitted from the program two years in a row!
The Jock got the blame the first time, but following close attention to detail in Nov 2003 and further investigation in Dec, it seems there may be higher powers working to destroy this poor young man's soul! (The truth will come out eventually!)

If you're looking through this site and enjoying yourself and chuckling, which I'm sure you will, this is the man responsible for the web-site. He does a great job, on this we all agree, and the Trainspotters wouldn't be the same if it wasn't for the spiritual home Eoin has granted us at
www.TeamTrainspotters.com

Eoghan 'The Sweeney' McSweeney

Eoghan was another big money signing with the arrival of the Trainspotters B Team! It could be argued that we still haven't seen much of what Eoghan is capable of doing on the court - but we've all seen that he's capable of putting the pints away.

Somewhat the Denilson of the Trainspotters! Only given two games in 2001 to prove himself, and due to the fact that they were whipped in both their games, he didn't get much of a chance.

However, during 2002, he was the star of the Wasters (if any Waster can be a star?!) and this earned himself a promotion to the A team for the 2003 blitz.

We're expecting big things Eoghan - No Pressure on you

 

Mark 'TOTY' Biggane

A True Original. Unfortunately, Mark Biggane is a member of a dying breed. No, he is not some endangered species (unfortunately there are lots of imp-faced long-haired d.j. tossers out there!), but he is one of the only members of the original Trainspotters that were formed way back in '97.

Mark was awarded with the *inaugural* Trainspotter Of The Year (TOTY) award in 2001. Why? I hear you cry! What did this young man do that no one else on the team can do! He'll go through walls for his team that's what. And whilst his performances on the court were far from magical, they were never far from comical!

A new nickname will be required for Mr. Biggane as a new T.O.T.Y. has been decided upon. A constant contributor to the guestbook, usually under the guise of "Jim", and usually at about 2.00am on a Tuesday morning!

Some people have mentioned sociology and as I don't know what that means… best leave it at that! Keep 'em comin Big Man

T.O.T.Y. 2001

James 'Santa Porn' Kelliher

This fiendish rogue joined the spotters in what has now famously become known as the "influx of 2001" - we did the Real Madrid thing before Real Madrid did the Real Madrid thing! This was when we drafted in a whole school of useless fuckers (because they travel in schools not in packs!).

Kells, as his "2-kool-4-skool" chums up there in UL call him, is rarely seen around these parts and lives a mysterious life in the shadows of Dublin's ever-popular wine bars!

A lot is needed from Kells if the Trainspotter B Team are ever going to reach the dizzying heights of their counterparts! They've had the death-defying lows, but not the dizzying highs or the creamy middles!

The porn may have dried up… but it's the memories, those bittersweet memories!

John 'The Bull' Lyons

Possibly the hairiest man I have ever seen! The only ginger on the team, and whilst the Kerry team might need a few for success, we're fine, thank you very much!

Also brought into the Trainspotter family in 2001 and actually happens to be one of the better players on Trainspotters B team! This year, a lot is expected of the one that is also affectionately known as Chewbacca! (That guy from Star Wars!)

With the likes of Chimp, Kells and the others, the B Team should mount a serious challenge every year.

Has yet the pledge his future to the Trainspotters and there are talks that he might leave on a Bosman if we're not careful!

Pearse 'Pee-Arse' Cronin

This young man is also one of the dying breed as was mention previously of Biggane.... He is one of the original Trainspotters, and has of late proved that whilst form may be temporary… class is permanent.

Whilst the Pub Golf title is handed out on the day in question, it takes months for the spotters to reminisce about the year gone by and decide who was their best representative (Trainspotter of the Year award). Last year - was this man!

The one moment of basketball, which, for me, symbolises exactly what we stand for here at the Trainspotters, was when Pearse came down to the hall for the first year we entered the competition on Stephens Day - bollixed drunk!

I'll never forget, he came on and got the ball around the half way mark and fucked the ball in the general direction of the hoop! It hit the bars holding the ring onto the ceiling, hit a few wires, hit bars again and then miraculously, the ball went straight through the hoop! - Needless to say Pearse was delighted, and with Tony and Lily watching on - the look of disgust on his face when he was told it wouldn't count was fucking priceless!!! Nice one Pearse.

The other moment that sticks out is when Pearse got a "moment of clarity" (like a blinding flash on the road to Damascus) during Pub Golf, turning to one of his pissed up competitors he said (in complete sincerity which makes it even fumier I feel) - "It's an awful thing to be winning"

T.O.T.Y. 2002

Pub Golf Champ '02

Tom 'Mascot' Kenny

Tom is our man "on the inside". His entire family are majorly involved in the running of St. Mary's basketball club and the blitz.
Tom had a big part to play with the team in 2000 as he helped Mick out on the coaching duties, got dressed up as Santa Claus and was even in charge of the camera man duties.

Which he somehow managed to fuck up - the words "Big Cheer" will echo in my head for the rest of my life when I see the Garveys sign on the court!

He was officially named as the first Honorary Trainspotter in 2000 following many nights of intensive alc"y"hol consumption where he proved he can definitely hold his own in the drinking respects.

Tom, however, was nowhere to be seen at last years blitz and his commitment to the cause has come under serious scrutiny.

We don't just hand out these Honorary Trainspotter awards to anybody you know!

Darragh '2Tall' McCarthy

-

Paul 'Dyank' McCarthy

-