"It's not all beer and football you know, Some of the boys haven't kicked a ball in months"

The 2003 Football Match/Beer Festival/BBQ was held on Saturday the 28th of June, beginning sometime around 3pm. See the bottom of the page for players and panels.

Report from the Day...

The Pitch was Fierce Hard, by Trevor O Donoghue

“The pitch was very hard”, said an absolutely distraught young man to me as we waked over towards the dressing room. Of course, we didn’t tog out in the dressing room, that would have made sense! “T’was” I replied, that was all I could muster to say to the boy, his little heart breaking in front of my eyes. “Sure fuck it” I said, “We’ll have a few pints”. I may not have scored any on the day, but fuck me I downed a fair few that night!

Did I actually score on the night in question? “Greasy ball, tight marking” as my brother would say, so no. I was too busy dealing with a bunch of hooligans that are coming over to Liverpool next weekend to do it all again.

The match was hard fought and very well contested by everyone but myself. I thought 3 to 4 nights in the gym would get the temple that is my body back up to “par” as it were! Unfortunately I was very much mistaken. A horror tackle moments into the game when myself and Donal Kelliher went for the same ball left me… “calved” shall we say for the rest of the game.

But there were others on the field who did not disappoint. Whilst Peter Burkes looks might have dwindled, the mans ankle problems leading up to the game were nowhere to be seen in the first half as he led from his midfield role.

Daniel Shanahan was never far from controversy on the day in question, and the first half was no exception. A clumsy tackle for Timmy Twomey after a hard, but fair, shoulder from Dan, resulted in a verbal altercation with Timmy very wisely walking away. Daniel had a stormer and it really showed a gap in the fitness levels between the boys who play a bit and the boys who don’t. Kevin Lynch was everywhere, running the game from the backs with a medley of intoxicating runs from one half into the other more often then not resulting in a score. If only he had been as evasive in the hotel later that night when he was set upon by 4 bouncers – “Aw you crater!”

To be honest, its not going to be much of a match report when I can’t even remember what the score was at half time! (It was 15-14 to the Spotters. - by Eoin)

It simmered down a bit after we all took a rest at half-time and whilst the game was never far from descending into a brawl in the first half, tempers cooled during the interval and we were ready for a tough but fair second half

The team photo was not without incident, a ninth “member” of the trainspotters creeping in over Eoin’s shoulder at the last moment.

The second half brought a renewed vigour to the spotters and whilst we lost Burke for a while after a niggling ankle injury flared up, points from Mark Biggane, Daniel Shanahan and Kevin Lynch kept the spotters in the lead.

After opening up what was always a 2 to 3 point lead entering the 20’s, the spotters never looked in any real danger. John Lyons was solid at the back, Eoin O Sullivan and Daragh McCarthy both contributing with the odd score, but it was Mark Biggane that was the revelation at full-forward, knocking over what must have been nearly 5 points in his first ever football match. Peter Burke was strong throughout despite the injury which saw him sit out a bit of the 2nd half and Kevin Lynch was outstanding throughout.

Daniel Shanahan at midfield was a rock and contributed the odd score as well, Trevor O Donoghue could only be classed as a spectator in the 2nd half and probably the first (highlight was when I tried to do what lynch does by putting your hand around them and running past them and basically ended up smacking Ruairdi O’Connor in the nose!), whilst Chimp even though he was playing with the other team, played a few great balls into his only lads playing against him from fullback.

A great game, spotters ran out victors 30 – 28, most impressive for the MMM were Young O’Neill, Young O’Sullivan (first half), Young Kelliher, Young Divane, Young Twomey, Young Horan, Young Lynch (best of luck in Oz) and Young O’Connor (sorry about the nose).

I’m afraid all I can say in my defence is.. “Yerra, it didn’t suit me, the pitch was fierce hard”.

Biggane's Impression:
credit wher its due mr. T , if any man can get me playing a game of gaa football then that says a lot,
as for the fooooooooootball, i hadnt a clue what was allowed,

how the fuck do you get the ball off the cunt? whats a foul, john lyons is below swinging some young fella around by the neck, is that allowed? i dont know, ive never played this fuckin thing before, so i try and imitate kevin and try to shimmy past people, that doesnt work, i fell every time,

then i got a new tactic: keep eyes on the ball and forget bout the man, just dive at the ball, .... the first time i did this i jumped into some fuckers elbow and pushed my teeth so far into my lips that i could pick my nose with my tongue.

so i eventually decided fuck it, i wait under the goals for my old friend kevo to come beltin up and pass me the ball and lob it over, i got 4 fuckin points! so thats fuckin, it, trevor got me playing gaaaaaaaaaa so fair fucks!!

Result...

30 points	to	28 points
	. v .
! Victory for the Spotters !

TRAINSPOTTERS PANEL:

[9]
John Lyons (what a gut) ;
Mark Biggane (new full forward) ;
Chimp Horan (footballing genius, like George Best... but better) ;
Snuffy (if you're wearing underpants... you won't be soon) ;
Kevin Lynch (he's shit) ;
Eoin O Sullivan (left legged) ;
Peter Burke (dwindles his way into full forward) ;
Trevor O Donoghue (Lazarus) ;
Darragh McCarthy (The Recruit) ;

Unavailable:
Cormac Lyons (aka MOSSIE); Eoin McSweeney (beer monster... say no more!) ; Declan Cronin (father to half the new borns in 3rd world last year) ; Perase Cronin (runs like a ferret, drinks like a fish) ; Ruairdhi Daly (not hot) ; James Curran (a legend in his own living room) ; Ivan Stuart (possibly the greatest hair cut since Jesus) ;Liam O Connor (went to Van Morrison = Faggot) ; James Kelliher (has to work = pussy whipped) ; Mick Donoghue (went to a wedding with Kenny!!) ; Tom Kenny (bit worried about those 2) ; Padraig Shanahan (making waves with the gay, over 40's bracket in US) ; Frank Rahilly (chipped a nail = can't play) ; Donal O Connor (exams, thats fair enough)

MMMAFIA PANEL:

James O'Sullivan ;
Donal Kelliher ;
Barry O'Neill ;
Ruairi O'Connor ;
Timmy Twomey ;
Florence Lynch ;
& young Divane ;